cultivating

I irritated brushing my teeth, then carefully apply a new layer of lipstick to my full lips and a thinner layer to my upper lip. I sat up with paper napkin, realized that I just wiped too much so have to reapply, then complete with a glossy shine. I brush my cheeks, forehead and chin with bronze powder and eye liner with a dark leaded lead. Brush a little of mascara and cover a few drops under your eyes in the mirror, smile and conclude that you look beautiful - but anyone will be beautiful in the soft light of the Margot bathroom. Like my mother, she does not believe in fluorescent lights. I open the door to the living room, telling myself to check my voicemail is one thing, calling Leo another story. And I will not call him any time in the near future, if not ever. I knelt down in front of the coarse woolen bag and searched in it the small snake leather wallet I had remembered putting on the pile at the last minute. Stella gave it to me for Christmas last year, and I know she would be pleased to see me use it. She was a generous and generous gift giver, but I often read from her gifts that she expected me to live in some way more like her daughter. In other words, the type of woman who knows how to change a bag at night. I put a lipstick, a small mirror, and a mint candy Certs into my purse. There is a small space so I put the cellphone in, just in case. In case of anything, I'm not really sure, but it's always best if everything is prepared. Then I stepped on my black maroon shoes and went down the stairs where Margot and everyone were gathering in the high chairs around the bar in the kitchen sipping wine, cheese and olives stuffed. I watched Andy and Margot standing side by side laughing happily as Webb jokingly imitated his client, noticing that their similarity today was more prominent than usual. In addition to their heart-shaped faces and well-rounded blue eyes, they also have a happy temperament - a sure-fire way of life. Andy's face brightened up as he saw me. "Hello, darling." he said, standing up kissing my cheek and then whispering in my ear, "I'm so fragrant." Accidentally, I was using a nourishing blueberry and blueberry milk, which was Stella's favorite scent. . "Thank you, my dear," I whispered, feeling guilty for myself and your mother. I told myself that I did not do anything wrong - that was Leo's fault. He has pressed me, creating a cheating layer between me and the people I love. Sure, in this situation it's just a little secret, but it's still a secret, and it's going to be complicated - doubly - if I respond to his call. So I certainly would not. I will not call him back. But when he poked his toothpick through an olive and heard another story about Webb's client, a story about a Falon football player was grabbed when he tried. Trying to put marijuana on the plane, I find myself somewhat want to make concessions. I argue that if I did not call Leo back, I would continue to wonder what he had to say, something he might have wanted to say to me. And the more I turn over the possibilities, the more I am filled with reflection, and he and the past he has shaped are more likely to destroy the present. Moreover, not recalling may seem like a tactic, creating the impression that I am thinking too much. I do not think anything. No problem. So I will call him back, find out what his question is, and then inform him, with seventeen words or less in my answer, that whether I said that day What in the restaurant, I have enough friends already. I do not need to spit out an old friendship - if that's really what we used to be. Then I will end with him once for forever. I clicked on a long wine, thinking I was so anxious to go back to New York to finish talking. But, despite my vow to remove Leo from my life until Monday morning, I could not help it. Going to his obsession with me that night, even after I went to Bacchanalia with the entire Graham family. Actually, I was so absent-minded that at one point, after the third of the tasting menu that accompanied the wine that Webb thought was "extraordinary," Stella turned to me and said, "Tonight you look a little bit, baby. Her voice and gaze outlined her concern, but I have seen her attitude many times with her children - and more importantly, with her husband - in such times as well. understand that it is a blame. As it is said, being "present" when we are with others is of paramount importance - and in the BlackBerry culture and our mobile phones, people are too often distant and absentmindedly with the people right next to me. DIt was one of the many things I admired in Stella - it showed that despite her appearance, she seemed to really understand what was most important. "I'm sorry, Stella, I feel guilty and embarrassed by her rebuke, but at the same time her words have had the odd consequence of making me feel truly belonging to this family, as if I was a child. her gut. That is how she has treated me for so many years, but it becomes clearer when Andy and I should be spouses. I thought back to Christmas after we engaged, as she wrapped her arms around me with only two people and said, "I will never try to replace your mother, but know that you are like a daughter. My two. "That was a wonderful word. Stella always knows it's wonderful words - and more importantly, always speaks her heart. She shakes her head and smiles as if for me, but I still stammered an explanation. "I'm a bit tired. We were leaving very early ... and then ... all this great food. "" Of course, darling, "said Stella, adjusting a silk scarf knotted around the neck of a swan. of her. She is the one who has never kept a grudge in her heart, no matter how big or small, a quality she can not pass on to her daughter, who can keep her prejudices over the course of the year so much that we are real. And with that comment, I pulled Leo out of my head for the hundredth time today, trying his best to focus on our next topic, with Graham pitching on the golf course. Improvements at the club. But after about three minutes with the talk of four men discussing the stroke on a stick, the under-two-hit and the hole-in-one (1), Margot's passionate interest Just like her mother, I started to lose the story and decided not to wait for another second. I must know what Leo wants. Immediately, I threw myself and went to a small, luxurious gift shop in the cafeteria where the women's restroom was located. Holding my purse in my sweaty hand, I was absolutely amazed at myself, as if I was watching the stupid woman in the horror movie - the kind of man who, when he heard the screams in the middle of the night, decided It is more interesting to tilt your bare toes on heavy wooden floors for self-examination than to call 911. Anyway, there may not be an ax killer hiding, but certainly There are obvious dangers here. Margot and Stella can, at any time, get caught up in my actions. Or could Andy, for the first time in my life, decide to check my mobile bill when it arrives at the end of the month and get to know the Queens who I suddenly felt the need to contact in the middle of dinner? But despite such obvious risks, I'm still stupid now, standing in a public restroom, urgently pondering whether to call Leo back or just send him home. message only In a sense like a moral victory, I decided to write a quick message with two eager thumbs. "Hello. Received your message. I press, hit the submit button before you can change your mind or edit and revise, choose words. I closed my eyes and shook my head. I felt compassion and relief in the heart, the kind that an alcoholic of course felt after cultivating the first vodka, the emotions that a few seconds later It's a lot bigger when my phone rings and shines on Leo's number. I stopped right in front of the washroom, admiring a pottery item sold in the store. Then I took a

deep breath and answered the phone. "Hi!" Leo said. "It's me. Just received your message. "" Yes, "I said, walking around nervously and straining around. Now, besides the possibility of being discovered by Margot and her mother, I can easily see any man in the family if he goes to the men's room next door. "How are you?" Leo said, "I'm fine," I said. "But I can not really talk at this moment ... I'm eating dinner ... I just ... I just wonder what I have to ask you?" "Well," Leo said, pausing, as if to create dramatic. I breathe, think, yes, Mr.-Straight-For a moment there is a long story for me. "I said briefly," I say. feel desperate to grasp some clue. Is it nonsense and premeditated like a question about his camera? Or is it serious that I'm the criminal of a sexually transmitted disease that he has? Or is it something between the two levels? Leo cleared his throat. "Um ... it's about work," he said. "My job." I could not help but smile. After all, he looked at my pictures. I know that. "Yes?" I said with exuberance as I hung my purse in the wings